10 New Year's resolutions that I will definitely not be sticking to
It's that time of year again! Time to publicly announce your grandiose New Year's resolutions that we will forget about by February. But, at least we can all pretend like we're super motivated and dedicated for a little while longer.
As an artist, I've always prided myself on my ability to procrastinate and my complete lack of follow-through. So it should come as no surprise that my New Year's resolutions will be no different. Who has the time or energy to actually stick to their resolutions anyways?
But just for the sake of humour and tradition, here are my top 10 New Year's resolutions that I will definitely NOT be sticking to:
Exercise more regularly: Ha! Those days are long gone. As if I would give up precious studio time for something as mundane as exercise.
Eat healthier: Again, I can't be bothered to cook for myself when there are so many delivery options available. Plus, a little bit of unhealthy eating is good for the soul (or at least that's what I tell myself).
Save more money: As an artist, I'm used to that I am constantly broke and should just accept my fate as a poor artist. It's just part of the lifestyle.
Learn a new skill or hobby: That sounds like a lot of work. I'll stick to my tried and true hobbies of Netflix binging, bribing my cat for modelling sessions for my TikTok and of course procrastinating.
Volunteer more often: My schedule is way too packed with self-pity, complaining and golf - to make room for volunteering.
Spend more quality time with family and friends: I'm an artist, I'm supposed to be a recluse. And for the record either my brother or I were adopted, so no point in wasting time.
Travel to at least one new place: No thanks!! I've heard traveling is expensive and tiring. Also they no longer serve salted peanuts on planes, because of the nut allergy. Ironically peanuts aren't actually a nut…
Read more books: I've got enough trouble trying to read food labels to check if it is Vegan, let alone an entire book. Do you consider Argos catalogue a book?
Be more organized: Organization is for the boring and mundane. Chaos is my muse. Chaos is where I thrive.
Reduce screen time and practice more self-care: How am I supposed to keep up with the latest memes and cat videos if I'm not constantly on my phone? Merci but no.
So there it is my official list of resolutions that I will definitely not be sticking to.
Here's to another year of mediocrity and procrastination!